What Happens When We Listen

This piece was born in a Faculty of Education classroom, during a discussion with teacher candidates about how to make learning meaningful for all students. One candidate raised their hand and asked, “I keep hearing about trauma-informed teaching. Can you share an example with us?” I paused. Instead of offering a definition or listing strategies, I shared a story—one that stayed with me long after I left the classroom where it happened. What follows is that story, written for a wider audience, with the hope that it offers something real, something useful, and something true about what social-emotional learning (SEL) can look like when we’re willing to listen. 

A Classroom Moment that Changed Everything 

In the middle of a class discussion about a character in a graphic novel, one student blurted out, “He’s crazy.” 

That single sentence shifted everything. 

We were reading Deogratias, a powerful story that explores the Rwandan genocide through the eyes of a boy forever changed by what he lived through. My students were tracking changes in the protagonist’s behavior when the comment was made. In that moment, I could have redirected and moved on but instead, I saw an opening. Social-Emotional Learning isn’t a lesson you deliver; it’s a way of showing up. So, I paused and gently challenged the language, explaining that calling someone “crazy” can be harmful because it suggests mental insanity. Together, we brainstormed more precise and respectful ways to describe the protagonist; phrases like “acting irrationally” or “emotionally unregulated” emerged. 

A student then suggested, “I think he has PTSD.” And then, silence. 

They didn’t know what post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) was. 

When the Pause Becomes the Lesson 

That pause became the lesson. 

We broke into groups. Each one had a new challenge: research the diagnostic criteria for PTSD, then return to the text to ask, “Does Deogratias show signs of this?” Suddenly, phones and laptops were out, not as distractions, but as tools for discovery. Students pulled up medical sites, compared notes, debated symptoms, and returned to the novel with fresh eyes. They re-read passages. They studied illustrations. They collaborated. 

They cared. 

And that’s when I saw him. A student sitting alone, separate from his group, tears running down his face. I quietly sat beside him and asked if he was okay. “I want to do this on my own,” he whispered. “Because now I understand why I’m like this. I’m not crazy. I think I have PTSD.” 

That moment held so much: identity, self-awareness, trust, vulnerability. But it also held something else – safety. He knew he could say this in our classroom. 

That is social-emotional learning (SEL). 

Beyond the Text: Real Questions, Real Learning 

The next day, we kept going. I showed them a TED Talk by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris on childhood trauma. I asked, “What’s the long-term impact of trauma?” and asked students to engage in active viewing of the video and to be prepared to share their answers afterwards. After the students shared their ideas and I recorded them on the whiteboard, they began to ask new questions:  

How does trauma affect health?  

Can it be passed down?  

How can someone heal from trauma? 

In two days, we had touched on trauma, mental health, empathy and healing. None of it was planned. All of it was real. 

And all of it was SEL. 

What I’ve Learned About SEL 

SEL doesn’t always look like a scripted lesson or a chart on the wall. Sometimes, it’s in the decision to pause instead of push forward. To explore instead of explain. To make space for feelings, not just facts. 

It’s in the way students use their voices and how we choose to respond. It’s in the trust we build, the relevance we invite, and the reflection we allow. 

When students feel safe, emotionally, intellectually, relationally, they’ll go farther than you imagined. They’ll make meaning. They’ll make connections. They’ll make sense of themselves. 

So, as you head into this new school year, I offer this: Be ready for the offside comments. Be ready for the silence. But more importantly, be ready to lean in. Because the heart of SEL isn’t in what we say, it’s in what we’re willing to hear. 

Try It: 5 SEL Strategies to Build Safety, Reflection, and Relevance 

If you’re looking to make SEL more than a “theme of the week,” here are five grounded ways to integrate it authentically into your classroom starting from day one. 

1. Pause with Purpose
   When a student makes an offside or emotionally charged comment, resist the urge to move on quickly. Instead, take a breath and ask a clarifying question. Even a gentle, “What makes you say that?” can shift the tone from judgment to curiosity and open space for growth.
2. Let Silence Do the Work
   Don’t rush to fill the silence after a tough question. Silence gives students time to think, feel, and respond. It’s also where some of the most meaningful self-discoveries happen, especially for students who rarely feel safe enough to speak.
3. Use Literature to Explore Identity and Empathy
   Choose texts that center on lived experiences, and ask students to analyze characters emotionally as well as intellectually. Prompts like “What might this character be feeling here?” or “Can you relate to their experience?” allow for deeper connections.
4. Teach Critical Research as a Wellness Tool
   Encourage students to use technology not just for information, but for self-understanding. In my lesson, students researched PTSD using trusted sources, modeling how inquiry can be both academic and personal. Emphasize credibility, care, and connection.
5. Invite, Don’t Force, Vulnerability
   Create the conditions for emotional sharing, but never expect or require it. Let students choose their level of participation. Make it known, explicitly, that your classroom is a place where they can think aloud, reflect inward, or sit quietly and still belong.

Reflection Questions 

When a student shares something unexpected, whether an offside comment, a moment of silence, or a personal truth, how do you typically respond? What might change if you approached these moments as openings for connection and learning rather than interruptions to your plan? 

What conditions do you currently create in your classroom for students to feel safe enough to be vulnerable? What might you shift to deepen that sense of safety and trust? 

Resources 

The Canadian Mental Health Association has a variety of mental health resources for schools. https://ontario.cmha.ca/documents/mental-health-resources-in-schools/ 

Children’s Mental Health Ontario has teaching resources. https://cmho.org/teacher-resources/ 

School Mental Health Ontario has lesson plans. https://smho-smso.ca/online-resources/health-physical-education-curriculum-mental-health-literacy-lesson-plans/ 

Meet the Expert(s)

Dr. Sunaina Sharma

Assistant Professor, Brock University

Dr. Sunaina Sharma, a seasoned high school educator and school leader with over two decades of experience, prioritizes the needs of her learners above all else. When faced with disengaged students, she adopts a proactive approach by questioning, “What if?” This enables her to implement interventions, evaluate their effectiveness, and refine her teaching strategies accordingly.

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