Overcoming Guilty Feelings: When Teachers Learn More than Teach

When I first became a teacher, I believed that my responsibility was to know everything. Over time, I learned that the true heart of the profession was not mastery, but continual learning.

At the beginning of 2016, I was a teacher candidate. Juggling courses and practicums while working multiple part-time jobs to make ends meet was often challenging. I longed for a balanced life.

In September 2016, I received my wish. I became a full-time teacher at The Linden School and looked forward to completing my 40 hour a week job. In my first week on the job, I asked students about their future goals. Students responded: architect, doctor, teacher, nurse, engineer, lawyer, etc. I realized that I, as their teacher, could help build pathways to their success (Burroughs et al., 2019). I was their STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math) teacher and all these “what ifs” popped up in my head. What if I didn’t prepare them for undergraduate studies? What if I didn’t teach them enough? What if they had talent and the potential to change society for the better but, because I hindered their STEM abilities, they couldn’t get through their future examinations? I was unsure if I was exaggerating. However, I was certain I would make some sort of impact as their teacher. I tried to ignore these worries but it proved to be challenging. Instead, I decided to get rid of my guilt by becoming a master teacher. I imagined that becoming a master teacher would quiet the constant self-questioning.

It was challenging as a novice teacher. On certain days, some students wouldn’t pay attention. On other days, my explanations didn’t make sense to the students (Lew et al., 2016). On many days, I couldn’t understand my students’ method of solving (Galiç, 2020). Most days, students became frustrated with trying to understand. I learned that there were many variables that affected a classroom lesson. The mood of their previous class affected their learning in my class. Even the sudden news announcement about an actress visiting TIFF (Toronto International Film Festival) affected them. I didn’t have answers but only questions. How did master teachers control this? How did they have strategies that dealt with all these issues? Every day I reflected on the commute home. Would they learn more and be more successful if they had a more experienced and talented teacher? I worried I wasn’t good enough. There were days I wanted to stop teaching because of the challenges.

Fortunately, I didn’t give up. I believed that one day I would be able to achieve my goal: to see my students achieve their full potential and to support them on their road to success Therefore, I decided to list all the challenges I had in my classes and fix them. The first three on my list were classroom management, teaching pedagogy, and providing real-world authentic learning opportunities for all the students. The sources of my answers mostly came from fellow colleagues, administrators, and my mentors Beth Alexander and Nasrin Matini. I observed classrooms and co-taught classes. I tried my best to emulate my amazing colleagues. Through careful observation, I learned that high expectations, building rapport, and truly caring for students was the foundation of their success (Leger, 2025). I learned that students could see through teachers and see if teachers truly cared about them. This care then spurred on their respect for teachers. Throughout this epiphany, I emailed my masters degree ethics professor Elizabeth Campbell to thank her for emphasizing care for students. Gradually, I began to see changes: students were more willing to ask questions, group discussions felt more honest, and I noticed that relationships, not perfect explanations, were shaping their confidence.

Every year, I improved my teaching. I took additional qualification (AQ) courses such as the math specialist AQ to improve my math lessons. I started taking courses in computer science to proficiently develop software to better support my computer science students. I started to read more on mathematical mindsets and the latest articles on math education. I wanted more strategies, so I started a PhD at the University of Toronto. My PhD supervisor, Professor Doug McDougall, kept supporting me throughout my search for answers. Ten years flew by. Through these experiences, I began to realize that teaching was not about reaching a final level of mastery, but about continually learning alongside my students.

I embrace what I have now. Every morning, I pack my bag, brush my teeth, eat breakfast and get ready to go to school to learn. I go to my school and learn from my colleagues and the students. I give presentations and facilitate activities as my daily assessments and evaluations. I attend school wide assemblies and learn about feminism, diversity, equity, inclusion, and Indigenous culture and values. I watch plays developed by the drama club. I learn about art at our school art show. I learn more about languages during our school languages night. I listen to and learn from beautiful music during our school music nights. I inquire and explore different science experiments at our school STEM fair. I co-coach and attend basketball, volleyball, and soccer games. I attend professional development sessions where I learn about Universal Design for Learning (UDL), differentiated instruction, equity and inclusivity, and other teaching strategies.

I now go to work every day to learn. I have a different type of guilt when I go to work now. I’m guilty that I, as a teacher who should be working, am instead the biggest student at my school. Yet I am learning to see this not as a failure, but as the heart of the profession. I wonder what our education system would look like if teachers were encouraged to learn as much as they teach? Perhaps this begins by encouraging teachers to observe one another, to ask questions without shame, and to learn publicly alongside students.

Reflection Question

How have you embraced continual learning in your own teaching journey?

References

Burroughs, N., Gardner, J., Lee, Y., Guo, S., Touitou, I., Jansen, K., & Schmidt, W. (2019). A review of the literature on teacher effectiveness and student outcomes. Teaching for excellence and equity: Analyzing teacher characteristics, behaviors and student outcomes with TIMSS, 7-17.

Galiç, S., Dost, Ş., & Lavicza, Z. (2025). Teacher noticing of students’ mathematical thinking through a silent video task in the context of slope: S. Galiç et al. Journal of Mathematics Teacher Education, 1-31.

Leger, C. (2025). Relationship-Building in Destreamed Grade 9 Mathematics Classrooms: Exploring Best Practices and Challenges (Doctoral dissertation, University of Toronto (Canada)).

Lew, K., Fukawa-Connelly, T. P., Mejía-Ramos, J. P., & Weber, K. (2016). Lectures in advanced mathematics: Why students might not understand what the mathematics professor is trying to convey. Journal for Research in Mathematics Education, 47(2), 162-198.

Meet the Expert(s)

Sang Moo Lee

STEM Teacher, The Linden School

Sang Lee is a STEM teacher at The Linden School in Toronto, where he teaches mathematics and computer science. His work focuses on creating learning environments that encourage curiosity, critical thinking, and authentic problem-solving. He is currently a PhD candidate at the Ontario Institute for Studies in Education (OISE), University of Toronto, where his research explores how teachers conceptualize and recognize critical thinking in mathematics classrooms. His interests include equity and social justice in STEM education and the role of continual learning in the teaching profession.

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